Life

Saturday, September 23, 2006

yeah yeah. i know this entry is long overdue but who can blame me? i've been so busy, working a 9am to 6pm job at the office during the weekdays, lancome counter on weekends and trying very hard to fit my current non-existent life into any empty slot that i can find, before or after work that is.

i have no idea why i'm working so hard, it's not like i'm extremely in need of dough or something, maybe, just like what amanda says, i like to keep myself busy. But the workload i get at the office is insane. Look at the amount of work that was assigned to me in 10mins. i took 3fucking hours to clear them.. i'm not just doing admin work anymore, like filing,typing purchase orders..i'm now posted to the stupid accounts department as the woman is soon going on maternity leave, and just so nicely, her maternity leave coincides with our school holidays, so they want her to train me so i can take over then.. yipee... =/ have to count the office expenses. issue the invoices.. print the payslips for the foreign workers and to calculate their pay! it just sucks so bad. and i'm only getting paid $8/hr for all i'm doing! plus. i have to color floorplans too, to like locate where the materials are used, and to calculate the amount and cost..

so yeah. that very well sums up how badly i need a life. Anyway, before the class chalet i went over to cm's place to stayover.. yeah. and also to celebrate fiona's birthday. never stayed over at his place before. it was really fun..and sweet. heh.

we went through this box of his which i gave him on our first official date, he used it to keep the letters and notes i gave him and all the receipts for the things that he bought for me, our fancy meals and the movie ticket stubs..he even noted on the back the date and some details.. super sweet..well. we decided to calculate the amount of money we spent on our this soon two year old relationship..and the figure amounted up to $1884.78! and thats like excluding the presents i bought for him from my side, the mos burger meals we had weekly with hsien and sherwin for chemistry tuition and all the dinners and lunches at kopitiams, macdonalds, kfc..Ljs..

haha. it's kinda shocking for us, cause we really don't spend much. really.

was running through the contents in the boxes and i found photographs! so here's a photograph that was taken errm like when i was back in sec 3.. i know i was thinner then but i think i look kinda fugly.and yes, i rushed off to work at lancome the morning after. Well, i finally managed to get a well deserved break the following monday, went to Aloha Changi for my class chalet. Three days two nights! the chalet's humongous. One big kitchen, a dining room, two living rooms, 4 rooms upstairs and a room downstairs with the twin bed, which was kept free, unless someone sneaked down to use it in the middle of the night i wouldn't know.. the rooms there were super big and spacious! all these just for $200 rental!

Manda was one of the first few who arrived and look at what she gave me!! it the sweetest thing i've ever received from anyone in the past 2years. serious.Bez did half of the groceries and once it arrived we got down to work, washing the stuff, marinates, skewering the chicken..the kitchen had this door which led out to the backdoor of the chalet and they were playing around with it. super amusing to see them get entertained with just the door. but well, it aint that fun locking it up at night, the corridor was so small and there were no lights! there was even this store room at adjacent to the chalet's back door. the corridor had this really creepy aura which i seriously do not like. but oh well. what can we expect? it's changi!

Bbq was fun with the music from the small speakers bez brought which was blaring from the second floor down! and of course with the frangipani trees all around.

i always thought that manda looks like chocolate milk and me pure milk.. i always feel so sickingly pale when next to her. we werent wearing the same thing by the way, it was super coincidental that our tops looked so similar but well. u can see yours truly really am sorely lacking in the chest department with this pic taken so close to manda's ample chest!!!! sheesh manda. i wanna eat what you eat if i can have boobs like yours.
everyone helped to clean up after the bbq. i shant mention anything about my encounter with the flying cockroach here. most of us crashed out in the huge bedroom on the first floor, with the vodka, cardgames and the good old 'truth or dare'...
'truth or dare' was fun..just by looking at the picture below i'm sure everyone can tell. but well. i'm not blogging about that too, dont think the people in class would really appreciate it, but well. it was spontaneous and a little bit of dirty fun, that was until people left the room for the 'truth or truth' that was going on outside.
and well. leonard and habez practically played the guitar everywhere.
second day morning, after seeing eoin off, kel, leo, bez, matt, cin and i went off to go try catch the sunrise.
we wanted to walk down by the road and path but some smart alec, i cant remember who, asked us to go down by the steps next to the bbq pit. well. we were kina stoned so we just took that path and we soon realised that the steps werent really steps, just concrete slabs which kinda disappeared half way.. we were like walking through the jungle.. in knee high grass which had frangipani flowers strewn all over. and with stupid pits hidden trying to make us stumble and fall. we didn really think much then but at night while we were talking we realised there could be snakes or something dangerous in that stupid place. thank god there were no encounters with creatures.
thats where we came down from. the chalet house is hidden from view by the tree. and we werent so dumb to go back by the same route after the sun rise.
lazed around, slept, cooked spaghetti and after awhile started the fire for the second bbq.
dunno who was the one who started playing around with the charcoals.. all at the pit were not spared except me of course, as i was the photographer..
Not much stayed back for the second night so we cleared everything and went back into the house early. everyone stayed in one room the second night. we moved all the beds in. it was kinda cozy.. and i dunno why, time went really slowly that night with us talking so much and not even an hour went by..

matt got a little high before his shower. he was dancing to 'maneater' and 'the stars are blind'.. poor leonard got influenced.

i duno what cindy did to make habez end up in such a state.. but she really seems satisfied with her job.
i think there were about 7beds in the room that night..here's some of the scenes from matt's contribution. His account was really scary and totally disgusting.
Nobody wanted to go home the third day morning, everyone was too exhausted and was actually intending to extend the booking out time so that they could stay on to catch some sleep! haha. silly group of them got up catch the sunrise at where amanda caught her very lovely sunset. lol.
pictures were taken by the bbq pit.. really lovely view the whole place. but i doubt the class would wanna go back to the same unit.
and here's the people who brought to the class, chalet 2006! minus eoin of course. the bugger left on the first night to go off to kl to get food poisoning.
picture of them taken while they were at the back of the lorry and i, in the front.

The whole chalet was really fun. we should so do it again.

albeit the weird sightings which i shall not mention in this blog entry..

Anyway, this week, went to catch 'singapore dreaming' with a few of the class people, namely kel, bez, eoin, cin, leo, matt and priss. it wasnt as fantastic but the scenes were really real and quite close to the heart. after that show, i really had this weird craving for 'liang teh' but yeah, had a mocha at starbucks instead.. we stayed there till they chased us off.

went to watch 'john tucker must die' yesterday with cm. i know it's a lame and loser show but i wanted to watch it! i knew it would be really funny and as much as i hate to admit it. i really really love/adore chick flicks and chick lit! mean girl and princess diaries, 13 going on 30.. maid in manahttan, i watched and loved em all.

caught these two movies after knocking off from work. i swear. my life is utterly pathetic.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

i have a hundred and one thoughts going about inside me but i just can't find a way to express myself. it's so frustrating, to not be able to express myself through proper sentence.

Maybe i'm too sensitive, that's why i get so hurt and offended by some of the stuff he says.

but then again. maybe i deserve it.

i always think whatever i'm doing is for the best. think that by arranging my schedule to be fully packed with work duties during his holidays is for the best as i won't be able to bug him and bother him, that way he can fully concentrate on his As.

but when i get home, i really am so exhausted to the extent that i don't even have the energy to talk to him over the phone, then he gets so annoyed we end up quarreling again.

quarrels. hah. easy for him, yet so difficult for me as every quarrel will equals to me having sleepless nights, and hence end up even more tired than usual. i honestly do feel bad that it's me, who deprived us both of spending time together.

maybe i am a freak. maybe i really do enjoy stress. i enjoy the rush that get rushing from one commitment to another, enjoy working my ass off for a quotation, to hit the daily sale target, that great amount of satisfaction that you get at the end of the day, telling you that you've done a good job for the day, albeit it comes hand in hand with the tiredness..

it's these little things which i enjoy which lead on to me hurting the one that i love so dearly.

mind you. i'm feeling hurt too, with your insensitive comments.

but the many demands on me which i have to handle is getting a little over, i know i can multi task but this now is too much. i'm not some superwoman. so give me some time and try to be as understanding as you ask of me to be with your situation.

than maybe things would be better.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

sometimes i just feel so rotten.
am i that bad a girlfriend?
and i hate myself for tearing while i listen to emotional korean ballads. makes me feel so useless.

fuck it sara. can't u be like how you used to be in the past? just swallow everything in, put up with it, be nice and keep the whining n tears to you and your pillow.

but i just can't do it anymore. i dunno why. maybe. i've turned soft.